You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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