yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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