i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
