It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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