I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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