Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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