i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
