I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
