If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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