Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
