Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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