You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
