dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
