She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
