just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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