but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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