worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
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