i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
