I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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