Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
