Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
