you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
