college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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