please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
