Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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