1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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