90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my being single is dangerous.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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