can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
