yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
