She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
