we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
