Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
