His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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