He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize