No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Bring me that man meat
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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