id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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