god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
