I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
