i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
