remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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