final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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