He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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