idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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