With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
