My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize