So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
