Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
