I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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