in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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