Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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