Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize