the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
