the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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