it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
