I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
