cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
