is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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