Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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