I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
