were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
