It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
