are you so shy because you have an std?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
