I must be too annoying 4 u.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
