The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
