think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
